K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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