he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
