help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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