Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
