he thought i was a dude.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ladies don't puke and tell
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
