id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
