he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
