Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
