i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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