I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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