You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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