i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
