She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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