I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
