it was like his penis was on wheels.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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