4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
