if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
