Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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