So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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