Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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