I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
