I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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