I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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