she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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