i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
