I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
