I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
