Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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