Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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