You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
