u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
