3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
