i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I will be naked everywhere
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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