I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
