ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize