So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
