i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
