Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
