Welp...herpes.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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