I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
