basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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