Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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