I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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