I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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