Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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