whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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