guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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