And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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