I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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