you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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