Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
