Betty ford says i'm here all night
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
