...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
