I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
