At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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