She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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