I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
