a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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