party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just pee around me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
