you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Randomize
