i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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