no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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