I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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