If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize