I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
