did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
