I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
