Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
