No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
