Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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